A Lot of Strange Things
by kennagirl
Summary: "Why is Sebastian Roche in my bedroom?" The man looked down at his body, plucking at the black V-neck shirt. "Roma Downey and Della Reese were busy."


Darcy had never felt as useless as she did today. Jane's machines had all gone off at once, heralding some new data that had her speechless with excitement. Bruce and Tony joined the party shortly after, shouting readings and theories across the room at each other and leaving Darcy in the dust as JARVIS collected and analyzed the information ten times faster than she could have on her best day. Sensing that she was in the way (after the fourth time Tony tripped on her), Darcy excused herself to hit the common kitchen and make some Christmas cookies for the party the next day.

Unfortunately, when she got there, it was to see that Clint had been teaching Thor how to bake, and in doing so, used all the supplies in the kitchen. They had then gone down to the training gym, where Clint was facing off against Natasha while Thor and Steve were throwing each other around the room.

Yet another place she was irrelevant.

Ignoring the fact that she was pouting, Darcy went up to her room. She slammed the door behind her, ordering JARVIS to not let anyone in, not even Steve. She knew it was childish, but she didn't care.

"Miss Lewis, are you sure you don't want me to allow the Captain?"

"No thanks," Darcy said as she changed into her pajamas. "I need some alone time for now." Her boyfriend would mean well, but she wanted to work through this herself. And if working through it meant laying face down in a pile of pillows, so be it. "Why am I even here?" she mumbled. "It's not like I contribute to anything in the Tower."

"I beg to differ. You definitely improve the average attractiveness of the residents."

Darcy rolled over and eyed the man now standing at the foot of her bed.

"Why is Sebastian Roche in my bedroom?"

The man looked down at his body, plucking at the black V-neck shirt. "Roma Downey and Della Reese were busy."

Darcy groaned. "Really? We're going to do the whole 'this is what would happen if you'd never been born' thing? Because I have seen that movie. I know how it ends, and let me tell you, I am in my pajamas, so there will be no running through the streets of New York yelling at everyone I see."

"I was just going to let you see what happened if you'd never signed up for that internship," he admitted, "but you not being born will have basically the same outcome in this case."

"Harsh."

"Are we doing this or not?" he asked, offering an arm. "I have a few other gigs lined up in Bushwick that I need to get to tonight."

Darcy rolled out of bed, squishing her feet into the warm boots she had left by the bed. "Fine. What do I call you anyway? I doubt it's Clarence."

He shrugged. "Sebastian is fine."

She grinned and looped her arm through his. "Lead on, Sebby."

"I changed my mind, please call me Clarence."

* * *

><p>They faded into a hallway that looked like every other institutional academic building she'd ever been in. "Where are we?"<p>

"Culver University, the basement of the Brooks building."

Darcy looked around. "Why?"

"Because this is where Jane is."

"Ew."

"Um, excuse me?"

The voice came from behind them. Darcy turned on her heel and was only a little surprised to see Jane, hair tied up in a knot with a pencil stuck through it. "Jane?"

Jane blinked. "Yes? I'm sorry, do I know you?"

Biting her tongue, Darcy spun a quick but believable lie. "Sorry, I've just heard a lot about you from some of my other professors, so I thought I'd come see what you were up to. It sounds interesting."

She clearly didn't believe her, and that was when Darcy remembered that most of Jane's colleagues thought she was crazy. But the idea of someone being interested must have been enough. "Most of my research is focused on Einstein-Rosen Bridges, which is a specific type of wormhole. I'm hoping I'll be able to travel to New Mexico and investigate some of the abnormalities that have been recorded there."

"Why don't you?"

"Funding," Jane said simply. "I've applied for several grants, but most of them require a staff or at least an intern, and I have a… reputation among the science department." She shrugged. "Makes it hard to get help."

"Oh." And that broke Darcy's heart a little bit. "Well, if you have an application, I know someone who might be interested."

"Really?" Jane's smile could have split her face in half.

"Yeah, my best friend." Darcy smiled in return. "She's really into astronomy and she's brilliant, so this would be right up her alley."

"That's fantastic," Jane said. "Let's just run to my office and I'll grab you a business card for your friend."

"Great." Darcy started to follow Jane down the hall, then grabbed Sebastian by the arm. "You've made your point, Jane would be nowhere without me, can I go home now?"

"Why would you want to stop now?" he asked. "We've got a full dance card ahead of us."

* * *

><p>This time, Darcy knew exactly where they were.<p>

"This is Izzy's."

"Yes it is."

"Why are we at Izzy's?"

He gestured to the window. "Because someone important is inside."

Darcy's gaze followed his hand and her eyes widened when she saw who was inside. "What the hell is he doing here? And wearing that?"

Without waiting for her new guardian angel to follow her, Darcy opened the door and strode into Izzy's diner, taking a seat at the only empty table. It wasn't long before their server was standing in front of them, sporting a white apron.

"Good evening, my name is Thor and I'll be taking care of you today. Can I start you off with a drink?"

"Thor?" Darcy was trying to feign curiosity, rather than the pure astonishment she was feeling. "That's an interesting name. And with that accent I'd guess you aren't from around here."

He laughed, and thank the gods that big boom hadn't changed. "No, I am not local. However, I'm sure the minutiae of my travels to get here would not interest you."

"Oh, they would, I promise," Darcy said. "It's just, I'm a writer and I always love a good story."

"Ah, well, perhaps when things are a little less busy?" He looked around at the crowded diner, and Darcy had to agree that a good waiter should pay attention to his guests.

"I'll be here," she said, "and in the meantime, can you snag me a root beer and a cheeseburger?"

"Certainly." Thor scribbled it down in his notepad, then turned to Sebastian. "And for yourself?"

"Just a lemonade, thank you," he said. Thor smiled and walked away, checking on tables as he went. "See?"

"What the hell is Thor doing waiting tables at Izzy's?"

"I'm sure he'll tell you after some of the customers leave. Think of it as an exercise in patience."

Darcy rolled her eyes and mouthed his words back at him mockingly, but settled in for the wait. Considering that it was Thor, the story would probably be worth it.

It was. After being cast out of Asgard (which he wisely changed to a non-specific estate), he wandered into town and ended up starting a fight. After spending a night in the town drunk tank, he was able to play everything off as a case of memory loss. Since he had no fingerprints or DNA in the national system, he ended up adopted by the town, paid in cash to work where he could and staying in Izzy's spare room above the diner.

"He sounds like he's doing alright," Darcy said as they left the diner, Thor flipping the sign to "Closed" behind them.

"Alright isn't the same thing as good," Sebastian reminded her. "He doesn't have his powers. He doesn't have Jane."

"He hasn't seen Asgard again either," Darcy admitted. "Hey, so then what happened with Loki?"

"I'm glad you asked."

* * *

><p>"So since Thor never went back to Asgard, Loki had his own kingdom and didn't have to take over Midgard. As a result…"<p>

"Is that Son of Coul?" Darcy whispered as she pointed at him from her waiting room chair.

"Yep."

"So, if I never took Jane's internship, he'd still be alive? Sounds like a pretty good trade to me."

Sebastian looked at the ceiling. "About that…"

"What?"

"There's a pretty big secret some people are keeping in your world," he admitted. "Don't worry, I'm pretty sure you'll find out about it soon when we get back to the present."

"Are you—"

"Aren't you curious about why we're in a hospital?"

Darcy felt her blood run cold. "Who?" When Sebastian didn't answer, Darcy got up and slipped after Coulson. She was actually surprised that she was able to follow him, but then he slipped into a door just off the hall. Carefully, she sidled up to the window, trying to see without being seen.

Her breath caught in her chest at the sight of Clint, unconscious and covered in wires and tubes.

Quickly, she turned back, running directly into Sebastian's chest.

"What—"

"No Loki meant no time off," he explained. "So he took a mission that he didn't take in your world and it went badly."

"How bad?"

"Some broken limbs, severe lacerations, and a pretty solid hit to the head," he said. "He's fine, just sedated right now."

"Promise?"

"Promise. If we'd shown up an hour later, he'd be trying to convince the nurses to grab more puddings for him to juggle."

Darcy punched him in the shoulder. "So why didn't you have us show up then and spare me the heart attack?"

"Dramatic effect."

She punched the other shoulder. "Ass."

"Come on," he said, pulling her down the hall, "we have one more stop."

"But there's…" she paused to take a mental tally, "four more Avengers."

"Bruce is still being a doctor in India," Sebastian said. "Tony is doing a lot of the same, but he's not as good at friends. And Steve…"

"Don't tell me," Darcy joked, "he became an old maid."

"No, he's dating Natasha."

Darcy froze in her tracks. "He's what?"

* * *

><p>The training room at SHIELD headquarters wasn't entirely unfamiliar to Darcy, but it still took her a minute to recognize it. It didn't take long for her to realize she wasn't alone, and she followed the sounds of someone sparring in the back. Keeping herself hidden behind a stack of punching bags, she watched as Natasha swept Steve's feet out from under him and he hit the mat. Once he was down, she crawled on top of him, grinning. Smiling back, Steve leaned up and snagged a kiss before he flipped them and pinned her to the mat. She struggled, but he kept her down for ten seconds before releasing her.<p>

"You keep falling for that," he said, getting up and grabbing a towel.

"How do you know I'm not right where I want to be?" Natasha retorted.

"I've told you before, if we're going to spar, it needs to be no holds barred. I can't get an accurate read on you as an opponent if you keep letting me flip you like that every time."

"Steve, we've been over this," she sighed, standing up and going for her own towel. "Your fighting style is strength and finesse. Mine is based on manipulation. That means knowing how to read a situation and decide if giving up is the best tactic at the moment."

He sighed. "I just worry about you."

"I know." They were quiet, and then Natasha spoke up. "I have another mission for this week."

Steve flinched. "It's Christmas."

"I know," she repeated. "But the safety of the world waits for no one."

"Clint isn't even out of recovery yet. I'm scheduled for a bunch of pointless public appearances. Who's your back up?"

"No one."

He froze at that. "Tasha…"

"I'm a big girl, Steve," she reminded him. "I can take care of myself."

"I don't like it."

"You don't have to." She tossed the towel into his face. "My briefing is in twenty minutes, and I fly out twenty after that." When he removed the towel, she gave him a quick peck on the lips and turned to leave. "If all goes to plan, I'll be home by New Year's," she called over her shoulder, and then she was gone.

"They act like they always do," Darcy said. "They're not even that affectionate. Why are they even dating?"

"After Steve turned down Debbie from accounting, Natasha decided someone needed to date him and it might as well be her," Sebastian explained.

"No, because after he turned down Debbie, Natasha set him up on a blind date… with…"

"A girl who doesn't exist in this universe," he reminded her.

"Right." Darcy sighed. "Okay. I'm done. Everything is better when I'm around. I have seen the error of my ways. And I'm still wearing pajamas and boots, so can I go home now? Or do you have to accomplish something else to earn your wings?"

"Oh, I earned those eons ago," Sebastian said.

"Cool, can I see them?"

"Sorry, I traded them to Jophiel for a pack of Zebra Cakes."

* * *

><p>When Darcy faded into reality again, she was in her room and alone.<p>

"JARVIS," she called, "did you get any of that?"

"Any of what, Miss Lewis?"

"Figures," she muttered. She kicked her shoes back into the pile of clothes by her bed, then returned to her belly flop position. She was no longer feeling sorry for herself, but apparently she was partially responsible for the formation of the Avengers. It was a lot to take in.

"Miss Lewis, Captain Rogers is asking if you're alright. He said you seemed upset when you left the gym."

Groaning, Darcy lifted her head. "Tell him I'm fine, and if he wants to come in, he has permission again."

Scarcely a second later, Steve's call of "Darce, where are you?" sounded through her apartment.

"Bedroom!" Darcy faceplanted in the pillows again, only stirring when she felt hands kneading her shoulders. "That feels fantastic."

"You okay?" Steve asked. "You were in the gym all of thirty seconds, but it looked like someone had stepped on your puppy."

"Rough day," she said, "but I'm better now." Rolling over halfway, she kissed him. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"Agreeing to a blind date from Natasha."

Steve smiled. "Best risk I ever took."

"You better believe it." She kissed him again, slower and lingering. Just as it was about to start heating up, JARVIS interrupted.

"Captain, Miss Lewis, I believe we have a surprise visitor on the common floor, and you will most likely want to greet him."

"It can wait, JARVIS," Steve mumbled, barely pulling away from Darcy's lips. But Sebastian's words from the hospital flashed through Darcy's mind and she broke away.

"Come on," she said. "I have a feeling you'll want to see this person."

"Oh really?"

"Really, and I want my iPod for Christmas." Darcy smiled. "Let's go."


End file.
